Breaking Up With Your Breakup

Pivoting from Pissed to Bliss'd

I recently challenged myself to post every day for 30 days on my Breakup Doula socials to promote my solo show of the same name. What I thought would be a marketing push turned into…a personal exit interview. I made it 15 days before exhaustion set in.

Here’s what I learned:

A) It’s actually really nice to connect with people as me. Not “the breakup girl,” not “the healing guide,” just… a person who occasionally eats pad thai at midnight and makes questionable dance videos.

B) I no longer want to be associated with a breakup.
Like… at all. Hard pass. Return to sender.

C) Staying in breakup energy keeps you broke.
Emotionally, spiritually, creatively—and yes, I think that affects the financials too. Turns out, identifying as “mid-collapse” is not a growth strategy.

D) I’ve graduated from believing my terrible life experience exists to fix others.
That was a job I gave myself without benefits, pay, or PTO. Respectfully, I quit.

Now, don’t get me wrong—some people take heartbreak and turn it into absolute masterpieces. Beyoncé gave us Lemonade. Lily Allen is slaying with West End Girl. Icons. Legends. God bless. They say in Alanon “look back but don’t stare.” I take that to mean know where you’ve been but focus on where you’re going and what feels good and true in this moment.

Somewhere along the way, I realized: I don’t actually want to build a career around something I survived. I no longer feel the chemistry with this, I’ve lost interest, I’m going in a different direction.

The real turning point? Running into my friend Drew Droege at a premiere, who said, “Let me know when your show is; I wanna come. You know, the one about the asshole. The breakup…”

And suddenly—a light went on in my brain. Not a flicker. Not a dimmer switch. A full on Boogie Nights Dirk Diggler in lights moment.

I thought:
Oh. I don’t want to be about that anymore.

So…I pivoted.

From PISD (Post Infidelity Stress Disorder) to BLISSED.

Because honestly? The greatest win is just…enjoying your life. And allowing yourself to change your mind when something no longer feels good or serves you.

And speaking of joy—here are some things I did this week that were so fun and that I’m welcoming more of in my life.

• Improvisation & Collaboration: Went to the Backseat Drivers premiere from filmmaker Kestrin Pantera at Vidiots—created from a fully improvised outline. Inspiring and a reminder that making stuff can be fun instead of tortured years of belaboring through a script that’s never done and never gets made. My friend Juli absolutely slayed her pre-show singing solos and musical direction of the film, then we made a spontaneous post-show dance video at Sticky Rice entitled “Waiting for the Pad Thai.” Joy, joy and more joy with a side of soy sauce.

• Art Date: Went to see Dynasty Handbag (Jibz Cameron) at REDCAT with my fellow comedian/clown Christina Catherine Martinez. We took the train from Highland Park to downtown, which honestly had its own pre-show energy. Public transit theater/conspiracy theory podcast vibes. Jibz read from her new book Hell in a Handbag juxtaposed with deeply moving songs/performances that her stories had transformed into- highly recommend this experience!

  So yeah. I broke up with my breakup. I’m dating joy now. It’s going well. We laugh a lot. Sometimes we cry too and that’s good because we’re embracing our humanity and can be our authentic selves with each other. No notes.

What are you doing this week for fun?

May offerings:

• Melinda’s Marvelous Monday Mic for Magical Musings: I started a casual neighborhood mic/community offering exclusively for new material with optional feedback—soft launched on Monday and it is SOVids here fab! Join us Mondays 2-4p at Cheerio Collective, sign up at 1:45p. $5 for 5 mins. 5917 N Figueroa St, Los Angeles, CA 90042

• Comedy Special/ Solo Show for Filming Mastermind Workshop on ZOOM—come make something joyful, weird, and fully not about your worst moment. Or… at least not only about that. Starts in May and will run 6 weeks on zoom culminating in a final presentation. There’s only one spot left in this one, DM me to get involved & I also have 2 spots currently avail for 1:1 coaching via phone, zoom or IRL.

• Enjoy comedy, dance and fun adventures on my IG @RealMelindaHill & Utube: MelindaHill

Much love,

Melindz